Vampire Therapist | Steam Deck Review

Confession time: I was a huge Twilight fan as a teen. I know, I know, cringe. That was the impetus for my fascination and love for vampire lore and mythology, though. I’ve graduated towards more mature material in this realm now, and I don’t usually get my fill through games. Little Bat Games came to the rescue with Vampire Therapist, thankfully. It had all the tropes and aspects I love while also being fresh. I promise this is a game unlike any you’ve played before. 

Bloody Sweet

You are Sam Walls, a cowboy vampire (yes, you read that right) who has recently immigrated to Germany from the US. He lands a job as a psychologist at a nightclub run by a vampire named Andromachos, or Andy for short. Andy tasks you with taking on four vampiric clients and helping them through their respective emotional and mental battles. He teaches you about cognitive distortions and how to recognize them in speech. He then sets you loose on the first victim… I mean, client. You’re green behind the ears, but you’re a cowboy vampire! Nothing’s too much for you.

As you play through the game, you get to know each of your clients in a deeper fashion. I came to care for each of these bloodsucking individuals, even if they didn’t always leave a stellar first impression. They’ll try to gaslight you, insult your intelligence and background, and test your limits. They need your Southern compassion and grit, though, and it pays off wonderfully when they start to finally accept you.

Even though Vampire Therapist does address real and serious issues, it does so in a respectful fashion. It doesn’t belittle any of the thoughts of the clients, or of Sam himself. Yes, the therapist is also in therapy. It shows that therapy is a good tool for coming to terms with your mind and battles while also conveying the message that it’s nothing to be ashamed about. There’s still a stigma around therapy and mental health, and I adore how the game doesn’t make it seem like something to be ashamed about (because it’s not).

Rootin’ Tootin’ Fun

As you progress in Vampire Therapist, more cognitive distortions are added. You’ll be able to select four specific distortions for each client at each of their sessions that you believe they’ll be more inclined to bring up. You’re not punished for any of your decisions in this regard, and even if you select the wrong one during your session, the game gently guides you towards the correct distortion.

Outside of conducting therapy sessions, you’ll speak to Andy and other patrons of the nightclub. This is a breath of fresh air between clients, and allows you to get to know your friends and colleagues on a deeper level. Another fun addition is the ability to select what you want to do in Sam’s coffin. Before he goes to sleep for the day, you can either choose to read or watch TV. If you read, Sam will recite a passage from Emerson or Thoreau. The TV route is more fun, admittedly. You can watch full-length episodes of The Three Stooges and Betty Boop, or even watch some Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin films. This is a delightful addition, and I found myself gravitating towards watching instead of reading.

There are also minigames, but they’re fairly simple and don’t feel like integral parts of the overall experience. One sees you having to aim your fangs to hit the veins in someone’s neck correctly. If you aim incorrectly, you’re only chided and given another chance to bite. The other minigame is more in tune with the therapy aspect of Vampire Therapist, but I did have issues with it. When Sam has his own personal therapy sessions with Andy, he’s tasked with meditating. He goes into his mind and your task is to shoot away thoughts floating around in his noggin. You press and hold the A button to inhale, then release to exhale. During this process, the thoughts should be shot away. My first couple of times experiencing this minigame were bugged and took me about fifteen minutes to even complete, and that was only due to the game taking over and ending the meditation. This was patched, though, and it now plays as intended.

The Sights and Sounds of the Night

Vampire Therapist’s graphics look great, popping off the screen of the Steam Deck. They’re crisp and colorful, and I loved the gothic vibes of the nightclub and the small touches that alluded to vampire tropes tucked away in certain areas. The sound effects are also excellent. During your sessions, you’ll hear EDM music thumping in the distance. Some other sounds you’ll pick up on are the fluttering of bat wings as they come closer and the crackling of a fireplace. 

The most praise-worthy aspect is the voice acting, though. Each character is fully voiced, and every actor slays their role. Cyrus Nemati (Hades, Unavowed) is exceptional as both Sam and Andromachos, and he also voices several of the other vampires as well. His range is outstanding, and I genuinely couldn’t tell that it was the same voice actor. Supporting turns from the likes of Matthew Mercer (Final Fantasy VII Rebirth), Francesca Meaux (Ghostrunner II), Kylie Clark, and Sarah Grayson (Dragon Age: Inquisition) flesh out the rest of the characters.

The writing is also wonderful. I was captivated by each individual’s personal journey and their thoughts, and I felt like I was speaking to and comforting someone in real life. It’s also wickedly funny. I laughed several times during my playthrough, mostly at adult jokes that I can’t repeat in this review. There are also jokes aimed at certain companies and aspects of modern life that had me chuckling. The only issue I had was that the written dialogue didn’t always match up with the spoken lines. It’s not a big deal, and it doesn’t affect the gameplay in any way. It’s just something I’m perceptible to noticing and my brain struggles a bit with the difference.

The Final Bite

Vampire Therapist is a visual novel unlike any I’ve ever played before. The vampire theme is perfect, and I adored the characters (even when they tested my nerves). I appreciated how respectfully therapy and mental health were handled, and found the graphics and sound design to be pleasant. The voice acting in particular blew me away, as well as how humorous this game is. My only nitpicks were the minigames and the dialogue not always being written the same as what was being spoken, but these are minor. I thoroughly enjoyed my nine hours spent with this title, and highly urge you to pick this up if you love vampires, visual novels, and/or positive mental health and therapy representation.

To hear me talk more about Vampire Therapist, be sure to listen to the August 9, 2024 episode of The Gaming Outsider podcast around the 1:39:25 time stamp.

This review is based on a Steam copy of Vampire Therapist provided by 1Up PR for coverage purposes. It is also available on PC via GOG.