Neon Blood | PC Review

It’s been a long time since I’ve been as disappointed with a game as I am with Neon Blood. It presents itself as a thrilling detective story set in a beautiful cyberpunk city, but the reality is the beauty is the only memorable thing about it. It’s shallow in every aspect, and there’s simply no reason to play it. Everything appreciable about the game can be glimpsed in a screenshot.

Style Over Substance

Neon Blood sees players in the role of police detective Axel McCoin, who is going through some shit. He has memory gaps affecting his daily life, and an addiction to the potent narcotic Spark. This isn’t enough to kick him off the force, however, even though every fellow officer is well aware of these problems. As Axel, we’re sent to investigate the deaths of some corporate executives.

Investigate is a term I use loosely here, as there is no actual sleuthing required on the part of the player. Simply walk to where the game tells you and press a button. Voila, crime solved! You’re never quizzed on what happened, never asked to look further at the scene, never involved in the police work. In many ways, it’s a glorified visual novel.

Stop or I’ll Shoot

The only other gameplay offered in Neon Blood is turn-based combat, but again I struggle with calling it gameplay. Axel will always fight these enemies alone, and it’s so simple I struggled to stay awake at times. There’s no strategy involved, nor is there a sense of danger at any point. Every fight is as simple as pressing attack, and then watching them attack.

I love turn-based RPG combat, but Neon Blood simply fails to ever engage. There’s never anything the enemy does that necessitates you shift your strategy, and if the random damage numbers aren’t in your favor, you have an unlimited heal at your disposal. Even the bosses operate the exact same way.

Each boss fight ends off with a QTE, and I’m the rare person that is actually a fan of QTEs, but the presentation here is off-putting. There are no sound effects, and Axel uses abilities and skills during them that you never have direct access to. It’s showing you awesome powers you’ll never get to use.

At Least You’re Pretty

The only real redeeming quality in Neon Blood are the visuals and music. Both work together to provide a spellbinding environment. There’s nothing to find at any point, but it’s unquestionably gorgeous. The pixelated characters against 3D backgrounds are unique and beautiful. I never got tired of the presentation, even as I struggled to engage with anything else.

The story is hard to invest yourself in, as well. All the tropes are here, which is actually fine as I believe tropes to be a valuable tool in a writer’s kit. But Neon Blood seems too embarrassed to tell its story with a straight face. You’re constantly inundated with references and quotes from other video games or movies. These happen with such frequency in the game’s three hour runtime that it makes it impossible to ever lose yourself in the world of this cyberpunk crime tale. I can’t buy into this world when I’m hit with a Fight Club quote or have to walk past the dude from Blasphemous every thirty seconds.

Lose Yourself Elsewhere

Neon Blood is a heartbreaking game to review. It brings me no joy to be so harsh to such a small title, but I also have to be honest. It’s a game that may as well play itself, which might be fine if the story was good, but it isn’t. There’s not a single character you’ll find yourself attached to, the mystery itself is paper thin, and the constant references to other media only serve to remind you of better movies and games. There is no reason to play Neon Blood.

To hear me talk more about Neon Blood, be sure to listen to the December 5, 2024 episode of The Gaming Outsider podcast around the 54:14 time stamp.

This review is based on a PC copy of Neon Blood provided by Mark Allen PR for coverage purposes. It is also available on PlayStation, Xbox, and Nintendo Switch.