Kaichu: The Kaiju Dating Sim | Switch Review

September 18, 2022 Alyssa White

Have you ever wondered how kaiju fall in love and find partners? If so, Squiddershins helps out our weird little niche with this query. Kaichu is a dating sim with a truly unique premise, but it didn’t quite fulfill my kaiju romance needs. It’s definitely a game made with love (pun fully intended), but it has its flaws as well. As a dating sim aficionado, it left me feeling somewhat cold.

Destructive Love

Kaichu places you in the oversize feet of Gigachu, a kaiju who looks incredibly similar to Godzilla, except kawaii. Gigachu can be any pronouns that you wish, which is a welcome addition to the dating sim genre. You’re on the hunt for love and companionship and have six fellow monsters to choose from the dating pool. After selecting the kaiju who most appeals to your scaly heart, you go on dates around the world to destroy the world’s most historic landmarks. Of course this makes the news, and two broadcasters commentate on your love story and destructive rampages. Of course, there are also powerful leaders intent on stopping your rampage of love that decide to throw obstacles in your path.

On the Dating Scene

As Gigachu and the kaiju of their dreams go on their romantic excursions, the newscasters watch as you answer a series of questions. These questions are supposed to test your compatibility, but they often lead to frustration. There’s a good, neutral, and bad choice, but you’re penalized for choosing anything besides the best answer. Select too many incorrect choices, and you’ll be booted back to your last save file. It doesn’t set you back too far, but it can become tiresome. Luckily, you won’t have to reload your last save too often if you pay attention to the comments after you select the incorrect answer. The questions repeat themselves over and over, which both makes this an incredibly easy game but also a repetitive one.

Each romance path has three acts, with the final act culminating in a boss “fight.” The last encounter is the same no matter which kaiju you’re wooing. I do wish there had been some variety in this act, perhaps with different enemies or diverging storylines. In the previous two acts, you’re just selecting which landmark you wish to destroy and answering a set of questions, which again often repeat themselves.

So Kawaii

This game does have some wonderful qualities. The visual style is cute as heck, and the dialogue between the newscasters is hilarious. I found myself chuckling often while reading their commentary. I do wish their back-and-forth differed with each romance, however. It’s also obvious that the team poured so much love into Kaichu, and the homages to classic kaiju are clever and endearing. Each romantic route also only takes roughly 30 minutes to complete, which is welcome after going through so many repetitive motions. The short play time also feels a tad stingy, though.

The Final Verdict

Kaichu: The Kaiju Dating Sim is an adorable, albeit extremely repetitive, experience. You’ll be cheering on Gigachu as they aim for true love, but answering the same compatibility questions over and over and encountering the same final boss each run becomes tiresome. This had a lot of potential and is so cute that you’ll get a cavity, but it feels shallow and unrewarding. If you’re looking for a simple dating sim to kill some time with or a massive fan of kaiju films, this may be for you. Otherwise, this isn’t an easy recommendation for seasoned veterans of the genre.

To hear me talk more about Kaichu: Kaiju Dating Sim, be sure to listen to Episode 413 of The Gaming Outsider Podcast around the 45:22 time stamp.

This review is based on a Nintendo Switch copy of Kaichu: The Kaiju Dating Sim provided by Top Hat Studios for coverage purposes. It is also available on PlayStation, Xbox, and PC via Steam and Epic Games Store.